The Word

Category: Uncategorized

  • Word of the Day

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s the best way to deal with negative thoughts?
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    There are so many ways to deal with negative thoughts. Some are surface-level, quick-fix ways, and others take a little longer, but they help your foundation heal towards thinking positively by default.

    One quick, physical way to shed a negative spiral is to take a shower. Energy tends to stick around and stagnate; if you’re able to recognize that you’re stuck in a toilet bowl, flush it. In the shower, you strip your dirty layers and can find relaxation in the process; then, you come out as the embodiment of a fresh start. (Full disclosure that as a new mom, relaxing showers have become a gift that I no longer take for granted, so here’s a reminder to always consider the source 😉 ).

    Another way to flip those negative thoughts around: get fresh air. Go for a walk, in some greenery if you can. I feel my energy change after a hike in the woods. Being among trees and other plant life cleanses the electromagnetic energy from your aura, therefore helping the stickiness of those negative thoughts wear off. When I get grouchy, I can tell it’s time for a walk around my neighborhood, especially when I don’t feel like going. 100% of the time, I return in a better mood.

    While you’re on the walk, try speaking aloud a few things you’re grateful for. One very effective way to disperse that negativity is to redirect your focus onto gratitude. The deeper you are into the negativity, the more difficult this sounds; that’s just a signal that you need it more than ever. There’s no right or wrong answer for what you can name in your gratitude list. Just name the five or ten things and pay attention to how you feel afterwards. Eventually it’ll become habitual, and your life will feel lighter and appear brighter.

    If you’re already speaking about what you’re grateful for, you might as well try speaking to someone else about why you’re feeling down. Exorcise those negative feelings and thoughts in a constructive way–through a counselor or other neutral third party, not a friend or family member. This could be a therapist, someone in your church, or a guidance counselor at school; there are people trained in how to help you build a toolkit for how to deal with these things. My therapist has been crucial in my growth journey, and my friends and family are very thankful for her ;-P.

    Is exorcising the negativity with a therapist out of the picture for you? Exercise your body. We’ve touched on going for a hike, but maybe a punching bag would better suit your energetic needs. Weight training, body-weight movements, going for a run in your neighborhood, doing squats in front of your TV–when your body is able to use that energy, the negativity in your head loses its power source. In fact, that negativity running amok up there is the perfect fuel to maximize your movements. One day I was in my garage, punching the hell out of my punching bag, and during a break I started dancing. I…don’t dance. Except then, I was compelled to. I haven’t felt that good in such a long time, I’m now planning future dancing sessions.

    Let’s say nearly all of the above is out of reach. I can guarantee that you’re able to change up the music you listen to. There’s a whole genre dedicated to positive affirmations, and most of it is really fun to listen to. There are some songs that are so catchy, I find them stuck in my head for days, and that’s a magical thing. For example, I came across Cole Adams one day when doom scrolling, and the aftermath was me singing (or stimming?), “All the cells in my body are healthy; all the bones in my body are healthy; all my muscle tissue is healthy, and I am grateful.” Doom scrolling doesn’t normally end with me feeling great, but for that experience, I really am grateful. The words that are on repeat in your head matter, and they do affect your cells, your thoughts, and your sense of well-being. If it’s hard to come up with positive thoughts on your own, get one of the catchy songs stuck in your head to do it for you.

    My last two cents go to the idea that, if negativity has you in such a choke hold that nothing up there sounds feasible, then, to be blunt, you’re in need of a total lifestyle change. I kept this for last because it’s probably the hardest thing to do. However, it could be the most necessary. If your day-to-day is draining the life out of you, and you can no longer dig deep to find the light on the other side of it, then that goes beyond just having negative thoughts. I have such compassion for people in this position because I was there–I’ve felt cornered and questioned, “what’s the point of all this” if I had to keep living that way for the rest of my life? I’m here to confirm that there is such beauty and discovery to be made from life, there’s just a toxic leech poisoning you and your outlook. That leech, whatever form it has taken for you, can and should be removed from you. Life is not the problem; what you choose to accept in your life can become problematic, and it’s up to you to rid yourself of it. Is that hard and scary? Yes, but it’s worth it. This is your life we’re talking about! I can’t tell you how to do this for yourself, but I can recommend meditating on it and asking your higher self for clarity on the best path for you. Just know that there is a path out from the corner you feel stuck in, and it’ll lead you back to light and love.

    I say all of this from my own experience because I’ve been in a serious negative tailspin before. I’m certainly not immune to negativity. It’s hard but meaningful work to actively change your mindset, and while I’ve done a lot of that work, there’s still so much more to do. Building new neural pathways by recognizing when the negative takes hold, stopping it in its tracks, and then changing its direction, is like putting your brain through boot camp. And, like boot camp (I imagine), you get more skilled at it each day. It may not feel like it’s getting easier at first, but one morning you’ll wake up and realize you’re looking forward to the day again. You’ll understand that you are not your negative thoughts; that the season you just weathered has passed, and when it comes around again, you’re better equipped to handle the storm.

    “I am not my thoughts, I am the one who notices them.” – Cole Adams

  • Word of the Day

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s the best advice you’d give to someone younger than you?
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    Man, I wish this prompt was more specific. I was just thinking earlier today, “I would do well (and have fun) writing an advice column!”

    (Does anyone need advice on an oddly specific circumstance? Send me a message!)

    In the meantime, let’s see what advice I can cook up for this vast population landscape…

    My Advice for Someone Younger than Me: It’s pretty cliche, but it boils down to “don’t take yourself too seriously.”

    While I stand by that, part of me wants to point out that I’m very excited by where I am currently in my life, and I wouldn’t be here now if I didn’t take myself entirely too seriously in my younger years. I’m just now learning, at 35, how to be more fluidly goofy. I hope that by the time my daughter turns 2, I know how to be a silly goose–but I’ve always been old for my age, and it’s hard for me to comprehend not being serious.

    There’s a lot to unpack for someone who takes life too seriously. It’s not like it’s wrong, or bad, or you’re off to a bad start if you’re intense, focused, results-driven, or–dare I say–deeply anxious. For me, it was (and is) a fear-driven response to me needing control, mainly over my future. If I got good grades, pitched perfect innings, nailed my job interviews, got timely promotions, and was liked well enough through all those stages, I would have checked off all the boxes to achieve The Happy Life that I Should Have By Now, right?

    Wrong! Now, I wasn’t living a bad life, but I was wedged so far under my own thumb that I couldn’t breathe. If I made one mistake, I would have a meltdown (of which there were many!). Over time, I had somehow created this sense of self-worth that only maintained my own uncompromising standards as long as I never screwed anything up. Which, spoiler alert, is impossible to do! Imagine being in your 20s–no, any age!–and not screwing anything up. It’s literally laughable now that I’m so far removed from that era of my life–which makes it a pretty sad reality for me when I look back. I did not have to be so hard on myself, and I’m actively working on healing that part of me to this day.

    If you’re someone younger than me who is taking life seriously, I salute you for your grit and determination. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re doing what makes you feel safe. Might I suggest that you take some dedicated time to dance, alone in your garage, where nobody can see how silly you might look? Or go to an open mic night at a comedy club and tell a story? Maybe instead you’d enjoy parking your car and walking, with too-heavy comforters and a backpack full of snacks, down to a secluded beach with your friend for a sandy outdoor sleepover? (That may have only worked because it was in 2009 and before the Age of Surveillance…).

    All this to say, my advice is to keep up with your responsibilities, but add this to your list: “Do something silly, and love myself through it.” If you must work, work on feeling whole, even when you are perceived to come up short. If you must achieve, be the best at forgiving yourself for your missteps. If you must focus, zero in on how great you’re doing at any given point. And if you must be perfect, know with 100% certainty that you already are–not despite, but because of your imperfections.

  • Word of the Day

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s the best way to build self-confidence?
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    One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is that building self-confidence comes down to trusting yourself. By doing the things you tell yourself you’re going to do, your body, at a cellular level, will gain a deep sense of “knowing” that there’s always someone there who’s going to support, defend, or protect you–and that someone is you.

    Projecting confidence has nothing to do with the people around you, or how much those people like you, or anything other than what’s going on within yourself. Did you tell yourself you would vacuum the house today? Did you follow through with that plan, or did you put it off until “tomorrow”? How about those dishes you said you’d have done by now, did you do them? I’ll even throw this out there, and get over yourself if you think it’s gross: When is the last time you used the bathroom? Was it right away, when your body told you that you had to pee? Or did you make your body wait 35 minutes? Small actions where your body cooperates with your mind, when they’re in agreement–that’s where the construction starts.

    Some may attribute having confidence to a physical trait, like being muscular or toned. Does having a fit physique help with confidence? It may, but only because you told yourself you’d go to the gym and then followed through with it. The byproduct of being healthy and looking good bolster the sense of confidence, but that’s only half of it. How many people have you met who are stunning, or ripped, or model-esque, but reek of insecurity? I can count a handful myself. It starts and ends with the relationship between your thoughts and actions–the mind-body connection is key.

    I’ll say it again: Confidence has nothing to do with, and there is no strength derived from, other people liking you or thinking good things about you. Confidence has everything to do with how much you like yourself, the degree to which you can rely on yourself, and there is unwavering strength built when you know you have your own back.

  • Word of the Day

    Daily writing prompt
    Go on a walk today and share a photo of something that catches your eye.
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    Whenever I go on walks, I go over my list of what I’m grateful for. Everyday I mention how beautiful the colors are around me–the rich blue of the sky, the deep green of the grass, and occasionally I’ll cross paths with a striking pink flower or two (dozen).

  • Word of the Day

    Daily writing prompt
    If you could have dinner with any philosopher, who would it be?
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    I took a lengthy philosophy class in college, and one takeaway from it was that I would never want to have dinner with Plato or Socrates.

    Dictionary.com’s first definition of philosopher is “a person who offers views or theories on profound questions in ethics, metaphysics, logic, and other related fields.” Based on that, I’d say Hell Yeah to a dinner with Pete Holmes. For those who are unfamiliar, he’s a comedian; he’s also a very deep thinker and has profound views on spirituality. He’s kind of my hero.

    Some quotes of his that I like:

    • “We’d all like to increase pleasure and minimize pain, but the truth is, suffering, even collective suffering that we’re going through, is often the earmark that some real change is happening.”
    • “There’s nothing you can do to increase or decrease the love that God has for you, but there are things you can do that increase or decrease your awareness of that love. That’s certainly been my experience.”
    • “I am a comedian. My brain is critical – it’s overthinking – but you can find ways to turn it down and realize that’s not who you really are.”
    • “I needed to let go of the idea of a God who was mad at me for feeling how I was feeling. Now, I bask in an understanding of the divine that delights in truth and the complexities of the human experience – even when it’s not very ‘clean.’”

    I’ll also leave this here. I mean, just imagine a conversation like this over some chips & guac!

  • Word of the Day

    Daily writing prompt
    What is the meaning of life?
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    Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com

    Bold prompt! I’ll take a shot at it. I didn’t name my blog The Word for nothing.

    It’s interesting–being asked this question a decade ago was almost rhetorical, in that nobody had an answer and accepted it that way. I think some of us today have finally figured it out. Maybe. It’s all relative, of course.

    My belief is that the meaning of life on Earth is to fully experience being human. The human experience, meaning: Learning, growing, loving, hurting, healing, and doing it all through appreciative eyes. To live means to see the world for all its color, both bright and dark. Eventually one lives to learn that the whole color palette exists for enrichment; gray, black, bleak, and dreary do the same thing for us as the pinks, yellows, sunsets, and rainbows.

    I like the phrase “we’re all made of stardust.” I think that we’re essentially all One. We all come from the same consciousness. One of my favorite comedians/people in the public spotlight, Pete Holmes, does a cute bit in his everyday life where he refers to those he interacts with as “other me’s.” For example, he could be checking out at the grocery store and think of the cashier, “That Me is being super efficient today!” I love that exercise. It makes the Golden Rule make a lot more sense.

    I subscribe to the notion that in this life, the higher power is within us. Call it God(s), Universe, Love & Light, whatever name we want to use, but we come from “that” and return to that when our lives here come to an end. I call it Source. This gives me great comfort in understanding the meaning of life and “death”; the fact is, energy never dies. It only transforms. Everything here on Earth is made of energy. Our bodies, our minds; we’re 100% energetic beings. We don’t die, we transcend. We’re here to Live, Laugh, Love, cry, build, learn, choose, survive, experience, feel, hurt, grow, heal…I could go on forever. How lucky we are that we were given the opportunity to come to Earth and be human.

    I believe Source is probably Heaven–no pain, all love. We were all a bunch of energetic mish-mash in some light-filled bliss arena, waiting for our calling card to Earth. The concept of Heaven/Source is hard for us to understand after a while of being human. We forget about the value of our energy and consciousness once we’re conditioned enough. But, today in 2026, we’re waking up to the fact that our energy and frequencies are lucrative currency. The level at which you radiate energy attracts the same level back to you–low frequency attracts more low, high brings more high.

    Finding gratitude is the first step to raising your frequency; high vibrations lead you to the meaning of life. The part of your brain that lights up when anxious is the same part that lights up when you’re practicing gratitude. Therefore, they can’t be used at the same time–you can’t be anxious while you’re being actively grateful. Try this, and soon, you’ll be in awe at the richness of the color green of the grass and trees; wondering who first told you dandelions were a nuisance when they add so much color to the world; feeling your cells drink in vitamin D from the sunlight on your skin; thanking your lungs for the favor of fresh air. All that and more just from existing, and there’s still all that you have in your possession to be thankful for. It’s stunningly beautiful, this life on Earth.

    I feel my heart bursting with love and gratitude for my life every day. It didn’t happen overnight; I lived on autopilot for a long time, feeling stuck and unhappy and suffering internally. My story, if it ever gets told, needs its own post because it doesn’t fit in here. It boils down to this: I had a baby, quit my job, felt scared about it, and subsequently started a gratitude journal. I wrote down anywhere from five to twenty things I was grateful for every day, building up those new neural pathways. Doing this really did help me in my spiritual awakening (and ongoing journey). My mind now looks for things out of love instead of fear. I feel more at peace than I ever have before, and I’m so thankful that my daughter gets this version of me.

    I think that the goal in life, for everyone, regardless of circumstances, is to name those five to twenty things to be grateful for everyday. It’s finding that beauty, that excitement for living; it’s listening to your body, your higher self/inner voice/intuition, even though it can be scary. That’s what I think the meaning of life is: Knowing that no matter the path you take, the scene around you will always mirror the scene within you, and the opportunity is there to make it like Heaven on Earth.

  • Word of the Day

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s a word or phrase that annoys you?
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    “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results,” or whatever the stupid phrase is. There’s so much more to being insane than just doing repetitive things. Besides, don’t scientists do exactly that when running experiments? I wish I could crumple this phrase up and put it in a paper bag with a load of dog shit before lighting it on fire on someone’s porch. Get outta here with that lame ass “definition,” I CANNOT. Ugh.

  • Word of the Day

    Daily writing prompt
    How do you plan the perfect road trip?
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    This time, I’m making the writing prompt into a story.

    The Road I was Made to Travel

    Photo by Jonathan Cooper on Pexels.com

    “If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute.” These words echoed in my mind on repeat. Beads of sweat gathered on my brow and my heart raced as I tried to remember where my suitcase was.

    I didn’t put myself in this position. My boss did. If it weren’t for him, I’d be able to stay in town and keep making a lukewarm salary bookkeeping for his mid-sized company. Instead, I’m packing up my life into my mid-sized luggage to get away from him.

    The truth is, I did put myself here. It was my choice to take the bet–name the winner of this year’s PGA Championship. I’d picked Rory McIlroy because his name was the only one I knew, given that he won the Masters for the second time a couple months ago. Apparently that was the wrong name to say and now I’ve lost my comfort in life.

    The wager wasn’t about money for him. He needed a new deck. I stupidly told him I would build him said deck if McIlroy lost this weekend. He said he would give me a $20k bonus if he won. This guy, he’s such a prick. He makes more cash in an hour than I do in a week, and that’s 100% under his control. So yeah, I took the bet. Choose the new It Guy in golf, probably win a lucrative bet; lose and get exposed as a deck fraud, have a good laugh. Seemed like an easy decision at the time.

    It wouldn’t have been such a big deal if this boss of mine knew how to take a joke. Sure, he can laugh mighty loud as long as he’s at the winning end of it–but I set myself up really poorly here. Not only is his sense of humor questionable, but he’s one of those people who makes you follow through on your word. “You’ll build me a deck if Rory loses?” he’d asked. “I sure will!” I’d answered. Obviously that was a lie! Do I look like a deck builder? He should’ve known better. I have a beer belly the shape of a large desk globe and I pant after walking up the single flight of stairs to the office. I couldn’t build a deck with Legos.

    Being the jerk he is, he just has to see the best in people, so he believed me when I said I’d do it as long as he’d fork over that twenty grand when Rory won. This Rory guy really screwed me. Who is he, anyway? He should know he lost me my apartment, job, friendships, and lifestyle simply from not showing up to win this tournament. How hard could it be? Just win it, buddy! My life is in your hands!

    Since no one gave him the message, and since my boss insists on having integrity, I’m packing up my most treasured belongings and hitting the road. I refuse to face the music that I didn’t start playing. It’s the deck’s fault that it needs to be repaired, anyway. I can’t believe it started falling apart and needed to be fixed up for him. Thanks to Rory, Boss, and Deck, I have a road trip ahead of me that wasn’t planned at all.

    In a half hour, I was able to get my car packed. I only had a few things worth taking, anyway. I got a playlist of about 15 songs ready, three snack baggies of Doritos, and my cat in his carrier settled on the passenger seat. My boss planned on cashing in on his deck before tomorrow’s morning meeting, and I’ll be damned if I show my face on that zoom call. I can only cross my fingers that I have enough with me to last this life transformation.

    My car felt uncomfortable. I didn’t put any gas in it when I had the chance yesterday. I could tell my cat was getting restless since I hadn’t fed him yet that evening. Road trips are supposed to be fun and whimsical, so I bet on myself and my spontaneity; this was one bet I was sure to win, as long as my car, cat, and landlord don’t create any problems. If anything goes wrong on this trek, I know who to blame.

  • What’s the Deal (with my dreams?) Part 2

    Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

    In the last two days, I’ve dreamt about:

    • A buffet of cakes and chocolate “samples,” seemingly awaiting consumption; my present-day friend Becca, a girl named Taylor who I haven’t thought about in decades, and a current neighbor/former coworker Kat and I walked into the place expecting to buy a chocolate cake and peanut butter pie for an office of about 78 people. The dream tasted delectable, with strawberries and cream flavored chocolate bites and thin custard-filled yellow vanilla cake slices up for grabs. We all binged on what we assumed were free samples in this abandoned high-class bakery we were sent to. The chocolate cake we were commissioned to purchase for the office party was the same cake I’d missed out on eating at a real-life Indians game back when I was a preteen. I had another chance at this cake in dreamland. Sparing a lot of the sweets-feast details, since they’re repetitive, I’ll jump ahead with this: I never got my redemption cake. I also knew that one cake and one pie wouldn’t be enough for the office party, but my pleas to up the ante were ignored. I wound up with a sweet donut and a sour attitude.
    • This one I remember less about, but apparently it’s very similar to a Dr. Who episode. I have never seen Dr. Who. In this dream, I was again with a small group. I did not know these people this time, which was for the best since we were being hunted. Eventually the hunt ended when I saw a wet-cement looking live statue of an archangel sneak up on my group mate, place its hands on their shoulders, and turn them to stone when they didn’t react fast enough. I woke up shortly after that, but I also remember there being a speedboat and a long dock and the weather was a cool, misty gray.
    • I think I was at a convention in this one. It wasn’t in a convention center, though; it was in someone’s house. My trusty crew this time consisted of Stacey, a former friend/coworker; Scott, a repeat contender in my recent dreams who went to elementary school with me and hasn’t been in my waking consciousness for eons; and two others that I can’t pull details from right now. This house had a windy staircase that was lined with old, dusty, leather-bound books that should’ve instead been compassionately released to a library. The bottom of the stairs led to an eclectic room where all the important convention discussions took place. One such discussion was Stacey and I talking to Scott about why he was so bummed out and trying to give him life advice. The rest of the dream was our group walking merrily (except for Scott) around this convention house, which resembled a combination of CoSi science center and Big Fun toy store with its endless knickknacks and rooms to explore. We eventually ended up in a parking lot. Just like in present reality, the parking lot is where we all parted ways, but not without giving Scott more earnest life advice. I hope he’s doing well these days.

  • Word of the Day

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s a book that completely surprised you?
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    I have two because it’s never a simple answer with me!

    Fiction: The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson

    • This book is phenomenal. It starts off provocatively; no chance for attention to wander elsewhere from a slow pickup, it’s immediately thrown into a visual ferocity that would not let my mind’s eye look away. Once the plot got going, the fantastical spirituality in the historical fiction of this story was groundbreaking. Much like the protagonist, my spiritual awakening began here, and this book will either be in my hands or proudly displayed on my shelf forever.

    Nonfiction: American Cosmos: UFOs, Religion, Technology by D.W. Pasulka

    • I love this book. So many before it tried to convert me from fiction to non, and they all failed. Even Helter Skelter couldn’t keep me, and that’s Shannon Alley if there ever was one. D.W. Pasulka writes with such fluidity, mixing skilled storytelling with mind-bending research, that I almost forgot I was reading nonfiction. With every page, I felt intellectually enriched. This book gave me the courage to walk through the door of an entire literary category that was once too intimidating to explore.