One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is that building self-confidence comes down to trusting yourself. By doing the things you tell yourself you’re going to do, your body, at a cellular level, will gain a deep sense of “knowing” that there’s always someone there who’s going to support, defend, or protect you–and that someone is you.
Projecting confidence has nothing to do with the people around you, or how much those people like you, or anything other than what’s going on within yourself. Did you tell yourself you would vacuum the house today? Did you follow through with that plan, or did you put it off until “tomorrow”? How about those dishes you said you’d have done by now, did you do them? I’ll even throw this out there, and get over yourself if you think it’s gross: When is the last time you used the bathroom? Was it right away, when your body told you that you had to pee? Or did you make your body wait 35 minutes? Small actions where your body cooperates with your mind, when they’re in agreement–that’s where the construction starts.
Some may attribute having confidence to a physical trait, like being muscular or toned. Does having a fit physique help with confidence? It may, but only because you told yourself you’d go to the gym and then followed through with it. The byproduct of being healthy and looking good bolster the sense of confidence, but that’s only half of it. How many people have you met who are stunning, or ripped, or model-esque, but reek of insecurity? I can count a handful myself. It starts and ends with the relationship between your thoughts and actions–the mind-body connection is key.
I’ll say it again: Confidence has nothing to do with, and there is no strength derived from, other people liking you or thinking good things about you. Confidence has everything to do with how much you like yourself, the degree to which you can rely on yourself, and there is unwavering strength built when you know you have your own back.
Whenever I go on walks, I go over my list of what I’m grateful for. Everyday I mention how beautiful the colors are around me–the rich blue of the sky, the deep green of the grass, and occasionally I’ll cross paths with a striking pink flower or two (dozen).
I took a lengthy philosophy class in college, and one takeaway from it was that I would never want to have dinner with Plato or Socrates.
Dictionary.com’s first definition of philosopher is “a person who offers views or theories on profound questions in ethics, metaphysics, logic, and other related fields.” Based on that, I’d say Hell Yeah to a dinner with Pete Holmes. For those who are unfamiliar, he’s a comedian; he’s also a very deep thinker and has profound views on spirituality. He’s kind of my hero.
Some quotes of his that I like:
“We’d all like to increase pleasure and minimize pain, but the truth is, suffering, even collective suffering that we’re going through, is often the earmark that some real change is happening.”
“There’s nothing you can do to increase or decrease the love that God has for you, but there are things you can do that increase or decrease your awareness of that love. That’s certainly been my experience.”
“I am a comedian. My brain is critical – it’s overthinking – but you can find ways to turn it down and realize that’s not who you really are.”
“I needed to let go of the idea of a God who was mad at me for feeling how I was feeling. Now, I bask in an understanding of the divine that delights in truth and the complexities of the human experience – even when it’s not very ‘clean.’”
I’ll also leave this here. I mean, just imagine a conversation like this over some chips & guac!
Bold prompt! I’ll take a shot at it. I didn’t name my blog The Word for nothing.
It’s interesting–being asked this question a decade ago was almost rhetorical, in that nobody had an answer and accepted it that way. I think some of us today have finally figured it out. Maybe. It’s all relative, of course.
My belief is that the meaning of life on Earth is to fully experience being human. The human experience, meaning: Learning, growing, loving, hurting, healing, and doing it all through appreciative eyes. To live means to see the world for all its color, both bright and dark. Eventually one lives to learn that the whole color palette exists for enrichment; gray, black, bleak, and dreary do the same thing for us as the pinks, yellows, sunsets, and rainbows.
I like the phrase “we’re all made of stardust.” I think that we’re essentially all One. We all come from the same consciousness. One of my favorite comedians/people in the public spotlight, Pete Holmes, does a cute bit in his everyday life where he refers to those he interacts with as “other me’s.” For example, he could be checking out at the grocery store and think of the cashier, “That Me is being super efficient today!” I love that exercise. It makes the Golden Rule make a lot more sense.
I subscribe to the notion that in this life, the higher power is within us. Call it God(s), Universe, Love & Light, whatever name we want to use, but we come from “that” and return to that when our lives here come to an end. I call it Source. This gives me great comfort in understanding the meaning of life and “death”; the fact is, energy never dies. It only transforms. Everything here on Earth is made of energy. Our bodies, our minds; we’re 100% energetic beings. We don’t die, we transcend. We’re here to Live, Laugh, Love, cry, build, learn, choose, survive, experience, feel, hurt, grow, heal…I could go on forever. How lucky we are that we were given the opportunity to come to Earth and be human.
I believe Source is probably Heaven–no pain, all love. We were all a bunch of energetic mish-mash in some light-filled bliss arena, waiting for our calling card to Earth. The concept of Heaven/Source is hard for us to understand after a while of being human. We forget about the value of our energy and consciousness once we’re conditioned enough. But, today in 2026, we’re waking up to the fact that our energy and frequencies are lucrative currency. The level at which you radiate energy attracts the same level back to you–low frequency attracts more low, high brings more high.
Finding gratitude is the first step to raising your frequency; high vibrations lead you to the meaning of life. The part of your brain that lights up when anxious is the same part that lights up when you’re practicing gratitude. Therefore, they can’t be used at the same time–you can’t be anxious while you’re being actively grateful. Try this, and soon, you’ll be in awe at the richness of the color green of the grass and trees; wondering who first told you dandelions were a nuisance when they add so much color to the world; feeling your cells drink in vitamin D from the sunlight on your skin; thanking your lungs for the favor of fresh air. All that and more just from existing, and there’s still all that you have in your possession to be thankful for. It’s stunningly beautiful, this life on Earth.
I feel my heart bursting with love and gratitude for my life every day. It didn’t happen overnight; I lived on autopilot for a long time, feeling stuck and unhappy and suffering internally. My story, if it ever gets told, needs its own post because it doesn’t fit in here. It boils down to this: I had a baby, quit my job, felt scared about it, and subsequently started a gratitude journal. I wrote down anywhere from five to twenty things I was grateful for every day, building up those new neural pathways. Doing this really did help me in my spiritual awakening (and ongoing journey). My mind now looks for things out of love instead of fear. I feel more at peace than I ever have before, and I’m so thankful that my daughter gets this version of me.
I think that the goal in life, for everyone, regardless of circumstances, is to name those five to twenty things to be grateful for everyday. It’s finding that beauty, that excitement for living; it’s listening to your body, your higher self/inner voice/intuition, even though it can be scary. That’s what I think the meaning of life is: Knowing that no matter the path you take, the scene around you will always mirror the scene within you, and the opportunity is there to make it like Heaven on Earth.
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results,” or whatever the stupid phrase is. There’s so much more to being insane than just doing repetitive things. Besides, don’t scientists do exactly that when running experiments? I wish I could crumple this phrase up and put it in a paper bag with a load of dog shit before lighting it on fire on someone’s porch. Get outta here with that lame ass “definition,” I CANNOT. Ugh.
“If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute.” These words echoed in my mind on repeat. Beads of sweat gathered on my brow and my heart raced as I tried to remember where my suitcase was.
I didn’t put myself in this position. My boss did. If it weren’t for him, I’d be able to stay in town and keep making a lukewarm salary bookkeeping for his mid-sized company. Instead, I’m packing up my life into my mid-sized luggage to get away from him.
The truth is, I did put myself here. It was my choice to take the bet–name the winner of this year’s PGA Championship. I’d picked Rory McIlroy because his name was the only one I knew, given that he won the Masters for the second time a couple months ago. Apparently that was the wrong name to say and now I’ve lost my comfort in life.
The wager wasn’t about money for him. He needed a new deck. I stupidly told him I would build him said deck if McIlroy lost this weekend. He said he would give me a $20k bonus if he won. This guy, he’s such a prick. He makes more cash in an hour than I do in a week, and that’s 100% under his control. So yeah, I took the bet. Choose the new It Guy in golf, probably win a lucrative bet; lose and get exposed as a deck fraud, have a good laugh. Seemed like an easy decision at the time.
It wouldn’t have been such a big deal if this boss of mine knew how to take a joke. Sure, he can laugh mighty loud as long as he’s at the winning end of it–but I set myself up really poorly here. Not only is his sense of humor questionable, but he’s one of those people who makes you follow through on your word. “You’ll build me a deck if Rory loses?” he’d asked. “I sure will!” I’d answered. Obviously that was a lie! Do I look like a deck builder? He should’ve known better. I have a beer belly the shape of a large desk globe and I pant after walking up the single flight of stairs to the office. I couldn’t build a deck with Legos.
Being the jerk he is, he just has to see the best in people, so he believed me when I said I’d do it as long as he’d fork over that twenty grand when Rory won. This Rory guy really screwed me. Who is he, anyway? He should know he lost me my apartment, job, friendships, and lifestyle simply from not showing up to win this tournament. How hard could it be? Just win it, buddy! My life is in your hands!
Since no one gave him the message, and since my boss insists on having integrity, I’m packing up my most treasured belongings and hitting the road. I refuse to face the music that I didn’t start playing. It’s the deck’s fault that it needs to be repaired, anyway. I can’t believe it started falling apart and needed to be fixed up for him. Thanks to Rory, Boss, and Deck, I have a road trip ahead of me that wasn’t planned at all.
In a half hour, I was able to get my car packed. I only had a few things worth taking, anyway. I got a playlist of about 15 songs ready, three snack baggies of Doritos, and my cat in his carrier settled on the passenger seat. My boss planned on cashing in on his deck before tomorrow’s morning meeting, and I’ll be damned if I show my face on that zoom call. I can only cross my fingers that I have enough with me to last this life transformation.
My car felt uncomfortable. I didn’t put any gas in it when I had the chance yesterday. I could tell my cat was getting restless since I hadn’t fed him yet that evening. Road trips are supposed to be fun and whimsical, so I bet on myself and my spontaneity; this was one bet I was sure to win, as long as my car, cat, and landlord don’t create any problems. If anything goes wrong on this trek, I know who to blame.
I have two because it’s never a simple answer with me!
Fiction: The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson
This book is phenomenal. It starts off provocatively; no chance for attention to wander elsewhere from a slow pickup, it’s immediately thrown into a visual ferocity that would not let my mind’s eye look away. Once the plot got going, the fantastical spirituality in the historical fiction of this story was groundbreaking. Much like the protagonist, my spiritual awakening began here, and this book will either be in my hands or proudly displayed on my shelf forever.
Nonfiction: American Cosmos: UFOs, Religion, Technology by D.W. Pasulka
I love this book. So many before it tried to convert me from fiction to non, and they all failed. Even Helter Skelter couldn’t keep me, and that’s Shannon Alley if there ever was one. D.W. Pasulka writes with such fluidity, mixing skilled storytelling with mind-bending research, that I almost forgot I was reading nonfiction. With every page, I felt intellectually enriched. This book gave me the courage to walk through the door of an entire literary category that was once too intimidating to explore.
While this feels more like a quiz question than a writing prompt, here’s what I can offer based on personal experience:
Find something you enjoy
Approach it like an appointment
Remove emotion from the equation
Be consistent
The hardest part is getting started. Do an activity that feels more like fun than work so that you look forward to the next time. Once your body gets used to the movements, it’ll crave harder workouts and progress naturally.
The Word 