One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is that building self-confidence comes down to trusting yourself. By doing the things you tell yourself you’re going to do, your body, at a cellular level, will gain a deep sense of “knowing” that there’s always someone there who’s going to support, defend, or protect you–and that someone is you.
Projecting confidence has nothing to do with the people around you, or how much those people like you, or anything other than what’s going on within yourself. Did you tell yourself you would vacuum the house today? Did you follow through with that plan, or did you put it off until “tomorrow”? How about those dishes you said you’d have done by now, did you do them? I’ll even throw this out there, and get over yourself if you think it’s gross: When is the last time you used the bathroom? Was it right away, when your body told you that you had to pee? Or did you make your body wait 35 minutes? Small actions where your body cooperates with your mind, when they’re in agreement–that’s where the construction starts.
Some may attribute having confidence to a physical trait, like being muscular or toned. Does having a fit physique help with confidence? It may, but only because you told yourself you’d go to the gym and then followed through with it. The byproduct of being healthy and looking good bolster the sense of confidence, but that’s only half of it. How many people have you met who are stunning, or ripped, or model-esque, but reek of insecurity? I can count a handful myself. It starts and ends with the relationship between your thoughts and actions–the mind-body connection is key.
I’ll say it again: Confidence has nothing to do with, and there is no strength derived from, other people liking you or thinking good things about you. Confidence has everything to do with how much you like yourself, the degree to which you can rely on yourself, and there is unwavering strength built when you know you have your own back.
The Word 