The Word

Tag: dailyprompt

  • Word of the Day

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    If aliens arrived tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d ask them?

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    I am so excited to finally write about aliens.

    I spent hundreds of hours in the library all throughout my childhood. The library was, and still is, my safe space. When I was in sixth grade, I found the back corner that held all the “weird” stuff–parapsychology, metaphysics, and my favorite topic at the time: Aliens. I read all the alien books right there in the corner, my back against the bookshelf, like it was my own secret, exclusive club. It really was my personal paranormal reading nook. Despite my fascination with them, I’ve never thought about what question I’d ask them given the chance.

    Truthfully, I’d probably ask something dumb, like “How are you?” out of nervousness and being starstruck. One common question I think many would ask is, “What is the meaning of life?” 

    There’s a woman in her 30s, named Elizabeth April, who I would consider to be popular among the parapsychology community. She practices remote viewing, has extrasensory abilities, and claims to have spoken with aliens and other high-vibrational beings. She also said on a podcast episode of Acid for Squares that when she was in her astral body and communicating with Source (i.e., Higher Self, God, Christ Consciousness, whatever you want to call it) she asked that question: What is the meaning of life? My heart rate picked up and my breathing rate quickened when the answer she got was very similar to what I’d written for the daily prompt of the same question back in May: The meaning of life is to experience. In this life, on this planet, we have so much beauty, love, pain, sadness, joy, ecstasy, and anguish to drink in, to endure, and to appreciate. The “good,” the “bad,” all of it is a lesson of experiencing through the limitations this world provides.

    All that to say, I wouldn’t ask that question. 

    I might ask, “Why has it taken so long to show yourself to me?” or “Why haven’t I been abducted yet?!” But I already know those answers too: Everything happens in divine timing. I’m not sure I really want to be abducted by aliens, but when life, or society, gets tough, my like-minded friends and I joke about it. Like, “please take me with you!”, for example. 

    Here’s some of what I’ve learned about aliens and high-vibrational beings so far:

    • They’ll reveal themselves soon, like in the next year or so
    • They’ve been here forever
    • There are several different kinds of aliens, some of which are purely energy forms (without physical form)
    • There are beings already here on Earth that are more malicious than the ones coming from elsewhere
    • They’re here to help, not hurt
    • They’ve already protected us and our planet from annihilation and will continue to do so

    Loving and learning about aliens has been a part of my personality for my entire life. To be alive at the same time as Disclosure (the official revelation of extraterrestrials and more of the great secrets being kept from the majority of humanity) is happening is an unbelievable privilege. I’m actually sitting here in awe just thinking about it. Combine the lore of extraterrestrial visitation with learning about energy, frequencies, manifestation, astral projection, remote viewing, Psychokinesis, ESP–the fact that humans have been proven to have these extrasensory abilities, that it’s documented in declassified CIA and other government reports, and that now the veil is lifting on these formerly niche subjects–for me, it’s a buffet of delicious mind-matter, consciousness-expanding brain teasers.

    I am definitely one of those weirdos who eats up all the content they can about the paranormal. I always have been; none of these topics are new to me. It’s just now becoming less taboo to spout off about them. And the more I learn, the more I’m aware of how much I don’t know. I get so excited about the unknown that I almost find it difficult to write about, succinctly at least. My mind gets overwhelmed with how many directions my thoughts go. How do I pick and choose what to put down on this post?!

    Anyway, I still don’t have a question prepared for when I meet an alien. 

    We’re already in the midst of my stream of consciousness, so why not continue down that path–as I wrote that last sentence about not having a question prepared, one came to mind. I thought about the interaction: First I would be in disbelief, then scared, then in awe, and then grateful. Then, if they stuck around past the fear stage, I would ask, “What can you teach me?” 

    I imagine the lesson would be limited, since we have to learn so much on our own. I would be satisfied with that. Just seeing and communicating with them would be enough for me. Unfortunately for me, I think I have more work to do with raising my vibrational frequency before they’ll give me the visit I deserve. 

    I have one single UFO story, and it’s a pretty lame one: It was 2010, and I was sitting in my friend’s car late at night when I looked up through her windshield and saw a small red orb in the sky. It was abnormal enough that I turned to her and asked if she was seeing it too. When she looked up, the red orb jumped to another spot among the stars. It leaped around a few more times before disappearing completely. 

    I’ve had UFO dreams that felt more real than my lukewarm orb sighting, but it’s all I have in my catalog, and therefore I’m grateful for it. It’s been said that aliens are making visits in the dream realm, so I might as well add those to my repertoire. Next time I see one in my dreams, I’ll ask them if that’s okay.

  • Word of the Day

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    The genie grants you a wish. What is it?

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    My initial thought was, “I wish I’d win the lottery.” Then, thinking more about that, I wondered how that choice would impact me in other ways than the obvious freedom coming from unlimited cash. Seems like a dream come true, but there’s a whole TV show about how the lottery has ruined people’s lives. I don’t think I’d mismanage the bag, so the opportunities for ruin get very creative in my anxious mind.

    There’s also the fact that wishing for money speaks to a scarcity mindset that I evidently still have, which I’ve been working hard to shed. Just in the last week, I’ve gotten extra groceries and a massive package of paper towels for free due to errors of sorts. If I’m able to summon abundance, why can’t it be a truckload of hundred dollar bills? I suspect it’s that question alone that keeps me from winning big on my numbers–there’s more Higher Self work to be done, and winning the lottery won’t do it for me. Bummer.

    Beyond the lottery, I’d be tempted to wish for a steady writing career. Just a quick wish and then, poof! Instant success. When I overthink that possibility, I get the feeling that I wouldn’t be happy with that one, either. Being plummeted into a lucrative writing career without having earned it would be cheating. It wouldn’t feel fulfilling. I also doubt I’d enjoy it at all. I would be like SpongeBob with those inflatable, fake muscly arms. A true poser.

    So, my first two immediate options are out. I could wish for all of the landscaping in my yard to be perpetually pristine, but maybe wishing for my house to be constantly clean (without me having to do it) is the better bet. But then I wouldn’t get that pride from making my house clean, and my kid wouldn’t grow up with those values instilled, so the cleaning one is out. And there’s some true happiness to be harvested in a flower bed, so landscaping is also off the wish list. 

    It’s starting to look like hard work and experiencing authentic achievement is worth at least a lottery’s worth of money. 

    Maybe we scale it down a bit. A lifetime supply of free Dairy Queen? No, I don’t need that temptation in my face all the time. I have no self control over ice cream. What about having my pre-baby body back? If you’ve been paying attention, you already know that’s a trick question. I need my hard work and authentic achievement! Call me a glutton for punishment, but I love a hard workout, and no genie will take that grueling journey away from me. I could get really specific with it and wish that I could eat all the DQ, brownies, frosting, cinnamon rolls, and donuts I want without ever having a physical consequence…but that seems like a really dumb wish when I sit with that choice.

    So far I’ve ruled out having endless desserts, money, attractiveness, and success as my wishes. Oh, and a forever-clean house and nice landscaping without the back pain. At this point you may be asking yourself if I’m crazy, and my response would be “define crazy.” If having defense mechanisms so high it wards off White Walkers is crazy, then perhaps that’s me–but I also think I’m making a smart choice.

    Being granted a wish is having true power. What kind of person would I be if I had absolute control for a moment and I spent it on myself? A big part of me still wants to keep it about me by wishing for perfect health and happiness for my family, specifically my daughter. As a mom, I naturally never want her to experience any kind of pain or illness. Speaking of natural, though, that’s life–she and I will have to endure those difficult moments when they cross our paths. That’s part of the cruel beauty of this human experience. The pain and pressure turn us into the rare diamonds we are, and my family can’t be exempt from that.

    Finally, I think I’ve arrived at my wish. It boils down to something we’ve all heard before, so much so that it was written as a joke in Miss Congeniality: I want world peace. 

    This is unattainable in our current timeline, so wishing for “world peace” without being hyper-specific would be a mistake. My version of it would be: I wish for the ungodly billionaires and trillionaires in our world to have their Christmas Carol moment and change their greed into generosity by donating just 40 percent of their collective estates to eradicating world hunger, disease, for-profit healthcare, and protecting not only the populace but the Earth herself by ending wars, capping or redirecting investment into technology so that Earth’s resources are not only preserved but replenished, and apply that funding towards elevating our society into a higher frequency where we will all feel safe, secure, and loved, where competition amongst ourselves is non-existent, and where we all rediscover the sanctity of community because of the realization during this transition that We Are All One. 

    That genie probably wishes I’d gone with winning the lottery.

     

  • Word of the Day

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    • What is taking up too much space in your head today, and what is one small thing you can drop or delegate?

    This question seems like it’s asking about a to-do list, but I’m choosing to interpret it in more ethereal terms. Like the spider I saw descending from my ceiling this morning, for example, got me so deep in an existential thought pool that I figured I might drown if I didn’t get it out on the page today.

    I have a couple of angles that I see the spider from. The first one is quicker to navigate, so I’ll start there: When I saw the spider drop down in front of my eyes, I was reminded of my favorite poem, called Allowables, by Nikki Giovanni:

    This poem has made me cry. It’s so touching to me, it’s really a remarkable piece of writing. I’ve always taken it literally; I know some readers will read that and think it’s about war or something, but I felt deeply for the delicate spiders in the world after reading that poem. I did keep killing them, though.

    It was like after a dentist’s visit, when they scared you into flossing for the first few days afterwards and then you fell back into old habits. I was welcoming to small, waify spiders at first; then I fell back into fear-based habits. Whenever I’d see a spider, I’d think of that poem, though. And I’d feel guilty.

    This morning, the little wispy gymnast of an arachnid floated from high above, straight down onto the rug in my daughter’s room, a perfect ten landing. At least it had an audience to witness such an act. Much like the judges in a high-stakes gymnastics meet, I swiftly crushed the delicate beauty’s hopes, dreams, and, well, its life. I did say sorry right beforehand, and I explained my motive, as if that would absolve me of the guilt I tend towards. (Looking back on it, I do feel absolved–unfortunately for It, this is my house, and I cannot let even the smallest threat cohabitate with my baby.) After the murder, Allowables took second chair in my mind. My first thought was about witches.

    We turn the corner now into my second angle: It is incredible how easily and effectively we can be influenced.

    Today’s killing aside, my feelings about spiders have changed significantly recently. For the most part, I don’t look at them behind a fearful filter anymore–I see them as lucky, blessings, protectors, and a reminder that “life is built thread by thread through conscious intention.” And this is only because my algorithm brought me to Witches of Threads, on Threads.

    I had only read a couple sentences in one day that mentioned spiders. Supposed witches, who could be bots, said spiders were good and I now therefore believe spiders to be good.

    There’s a spider web on the hinge of my front door that I dare not get rid of because it supposedly acts as a filter and sifts out the bad juju before it gets into my home. There are two more intricate webs outside our house: One on the back of my husband’s car and one in our flower bed right where my head was just bobbing and weaving around last weekend when I was mulching. I look at these webs with awe and notice their beauty instead of wanting to destroy them. I try not to disturb the other webs in our landscaping when pulling weeds. I don’t bother the spider in our basement who has taken residency in our window nook. My husband and I even refer to him as “little buddy” and “cool guy.” All this because I was influenced online.

    I’m happy about this change in me, so it’s not this specific instance that gives me pause. It’s all the other times I find myself scrolling on Instagram or Threads (never TikTok) and coming out the other side with a new opinion, a new concern, a new product I want, or a new “hack”. Most of the “information” I absorb is likely not good for me. It sometimes causes arguments between my husband and I–the fact that I’d get riled up over a fake headline or take sides on an issue when my algorithm is purposely hiding an entire hemisphere of facts. It’s not just my algorithm seeping into my daily thought patterns, but his, too. He notices when I’ve been online too long, and the noticing is mutual.

    While I’m thankful for some of the tidbits I’ve gathered from doomscrolling, it’s overwhelmingly apparent to me that there’s an issue at hand: There are real-world, loving, strong, thoughtful relationships being affected by fake, online, polarizing, fear-mongering bullshit. None of this is news; we all know that doomscrolling is bad for us–just like we know alcohol, drugs, junk food, and unprotected sex are bad for us. At least there are meetings people can go to, with a real-world community, to heal that addicted part of themselves if those indulgences get out of control. Where are the “Social Mediaddiction” Anonymous groups? Where is there an opportunity for our community to seek support for this very real and harmful addiction?

    Nobody is influence-proof anymore. If you have social media, you’re primed for jumping off the bridge if your favorite influencer told you to. I find this to be dangerous, an unnecessary evil. This is the nature of our society because it’s been engineered that way–we choose browsing social media day after day, but only because it’s designed to be addictive. Billions of dollars are spent to make sure our attention stays captured. It would seem like we don’t have any recourse now that society is so smart-phone dependent, but I want to fight that narrative.

    The first step to breaking free from the chokehold is awareness. Notice when your thoughts start sounding foreign to you and actively change them to something else, preferably something positive and uplifting, like finding something to be grateful for.

    The next step is harder, and that is to take action. This is where the addiction will overtake your resistance. My advice, which I need to take myself, would be to make a list of things to do when the desire to doomscroll pops up. I already have a time limit on my apps, and that doesn’t really do anything to stop my urges. A to-do list and a goal for the day, with deadlines, helps keep my phone out of my hands. When I’m taking a break, having things nearby that bring me real joy (a book, sketch pad, my laptop, etc.) help with keeping my attention elsewhere. But the last time I checked, I was logging 14 hours a week on IG and Threads. That’s a gut punch–to admit that “I don’t have time” really means “I’m wasting it on bingeing mental junk food.”

    I get that sometimes we need a mental break to laugh at memes or watch some videos online. Like having too much junk food, though, I notice that I don’t feel any better after a scrolling session. I usually feel worse. Time passes at an unruly rate while my mind races about things I never wanted polluting my wavelength to begin with. What makes it so tough to quit is that there’s some content I really enjoy because it’s enlightening, uplifting, and encouraging. Like it’s Groundhog Day, I keep asking myself: Do I make that sacrifice?

    The question really is, “When?” Intuitively I know I need a detox from the apps. We all do. When scrolling on DoorDash becomes a form of entertainment, that’s a sign to take some distance from the billion-dollar addiction machine. While I no longer do that (praise be), I still need to be checked into scrolling rehab someday. I just need someone to help me build it–preferably deep in the woods somewhere, with nothing but fresh air and Mother Earth to ground us.

    In the meantime, I’ll do some research with the Witches of Threads. I have a bay leaf in my pantry that’s calling my name. Maybe that’ll bring my earthy, woodsy, campy detox facility to fruition. At this point, I wouldn’t mind living among the spiders.

  • Word of the Day

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    If you could start a new business right now, what would it be?

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    My hypothetical business would be selling baby formula that costs less than a circa-2019 monthly mortgage payment. It would be the exact same ingredients as the best formula available, it would pass all the FDA approvals, and it wouldn’t create gas pain in the babies. It would be a dream come true, a life-saver, a diamond in the rough! 

    I do have a hypothesis about this hypothetical humanitarian business effort of mine: It would be wildly successful, I wouldn’t be able to keep the shelves stocked, and I would eventually find myself at the bottom of a high-rise building having “fallen off the edge of the balcony.” 

    “Why is it that such a need is priced out of so many people’s budget?” she asked rhetorically. While I’m at it, I think I’ll start a side hustle of opening a hospital that offers affordable healthcare. Better yet, I’ll include within it a medical school that teaches in-depth and passionately about women’s health, with a division dedicated specifically to pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum. It won’t be free! It’ll still be a business! But I’m charging pennies on the dollar since everyone on Earth will want to patronize this company of mine. Everyone except…

    The Powers that Be wouldn’t be thrilled about my venture, but I have something in it for them, too. I’ll siphon $1 per customer their way. With nearly 7 billion people coming through my doors, that’s a nice payday for them, I think! Except…

    It’s never really enough for these billionaires in power. We think it’s about money, but it’s really about control. Or is it about something else entirely? We The People have no clue what’s going on in their closed-door conversations, and it’s tiring to even speculate. But it IS entertaining, in a morbid way. I’m reading a book right now called Phenomena, by Annie Jacobsen. This book details the US Government’s exploration into and employment of people with ESP, Psychokinesis, and other psychic abilities like remote viewing and divination. These are concepts being talked about more among civilians today, but are still on the fringe side of beliefs; governments around the world, however, have been dabbling in this stuff since at least the 1940’s. It’s been almost 100 years. Just imagine what’s really being discussed among them today. If we’ve heard about it, we’re more than a few decades behind.

    I feel strongly about the treatment of women since I had my baby. It’s wild to fathom how misunderstood women’s health is. Not only that, but my conspiratorial mind wonders about the fundamental groundwork laid to make sure the masses remain in the dark about it. The unbelievable physical and mental strength women need to have to carry a baby and endure the symptoms of pregnancy through a full-time job; the willpower it takes to survive the delivery, medicated or not; the absolute marathon the body and mind run while healing and dealing with postpartum injuries, hormones, and outside influences. All of these legitimately need to be studied. The amount of actual research done on any of this, let alone basic women’s health and how it differs from men’s, is so disparate that it makes you wonder–how did we get this far without this being discussed seriously in the medical world, unless it was done on purpose?

    So, I want baby formula to cost less. From someone who’s doing her best with breastfeeding, pumping, bottle feeding, and formula feeding, and taking care of and raising and loving her baby, and dealing with postpartum fallout, and working with a new budget for the household, and making sure the relationships around her stay strong through it all, it would be really great if we could have that one thing. Thanks.

  • Word of the Day

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    What’s one thing you wish you had started doing earlier in life?

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    This question feels like What’s Your Biggest Regret’s nosy neighbor, and that’s too close for comfort for me. Regret is weird, right? If I went back and changed a bunch of things, I wouldn’t be living this life that I love. 

    That’s not to say it would be a worse life, or even a better one. I think there’s some version of me in the multiverse that stuck to writing earlier on in life and made it big. One of many reasons I didn’t do that is because I was afraid my passion would turn into something I’d hate when it became a job. Was the cure for that completely hanging it up for the better part of 2 decades to go work as a cog in the corporate machine? No, probably not. But, I’m here now, writing what I want; I’m working that muscle out again on my own terms. And for that reason, I’m thankful. (Insert Shark Tank meme.)

    I did have a goal when I was in my very early 20’s to have my first book published by the time I turned 23. That turned into 28, which turned into “30’s,” and eventually it fell off my radar. The feeling of guilt I have for not honoring my goal is something that has stuck with me. However, on my healing journey, I can recognize that each moment propagates a new me. The Me back then didn’t know any better, and I can be proud of where Now Me is at. I can give myself room to understand that I was only working with the tools I had available to me back then, and I work to forgive the version of myself who’s judging her from afar. 

    At 35, I’ve learned so much about myself that it’s completely understandable why I didn’t start writing consistently and in a disciplined manner when I was 20. I could spend all day glamorizing that path, but ultimately it doesn’t feel right anymore. It’s not what happened for me, and I’m at peace with that. I could say the same thing for other habits that I’ve started fine-tuning just recently–I wish I started eating better sooner, working out consistently earlier in life, learned to go easier on myself when I was younger. But how could I have done any of those things, when I didn’t have that knowledge any earlier than I did? 

    What I’ve gathered at this point is that life is a classroom. There are lessons handed to us every day. We’re in the clinical trials as we’re learning. We’re bound to stumble and get the answers wrong sometimes when we’re learning as we go. There’s no sense in looking back on Day 1, Lesson 1 and being mad at ourselves for not passing Day 30, Lesson 30’s test. I appreciate my learning process more each day, and it’s part of what makes life beautiful; it’s never too early to see how lovely life really is.

  • Word of the Day

    Even the smallest things generate a ripple effect.
    A fallen leaf floats at the center of rippling water as the forest reflects the evening sky.

    Do you believe in karma?

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    I do believe in karma, in the way that I believe in energy. I think that what’s projected outward will in turn be attracted back inward. Is it a tit-for-tat type of deal? I don’t know. Probably not in the way most people think of karma. 

    I think if someone has negative intentions in their heart and then acts on them, they will eventually receive negativity in return. That being said, my high school bully ended up winning a whole house in a local YMCA fundraiser held in my hometown, so there’s that. For the sake of my own karma, I wish her nothing but the best lessons in life. 🙂

    Anyway, it’s my belief that the concept of karma is many things thanks to the blending of meaning and language. By definition, it’s “an impersonal law of cause and effect, not a system of divine reward and punishment.” Going by that definition, my own interpretation of karma bleeds out of the lines a bit. I maintain my belief, though, that an act of positivity leads to positivity in return. Engaging in positive thoughts, gratitude, acts of selflessness, etc., emits a frequency that has you radiating on a level that can only attract like frequencies back to you. That, to me, is physics; that’s cause and effect. 

    I write in these blog posts as if I’ve got it all figured out. I assure you, I don’t. I get sucked into bad moods and shit-talking like the best Negative Nancy in the pageant. However, what I can say is that I’ve absolutely become more aware of my thoughts. I do catch myself in one of these moods or thought cycles and at least try to break it. I actively notice things that I’m grateful for, and I do that on a regular basis. And, as of super recently, I’ve gotten back into an exercise routine. This alone helps regulate the energy within me that otherwise would get charged up throughout the day and have nowhere to go, except to my head, which is where overthinking and negativity breed. 

    So, do I believe in karma? Yes. Do I think it all comes back to energy and frequencies? Of course. I’m seeing now that most of what I have to say also boils down to those topics. Let’s see where that cause and effect takes us. 🙂

  • Word of the Day

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    Daily writing prompt
    What’s the best way to deal with negative thoughts?
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    There are so many ways to deal with negative thoughts. Some are surface-level, quick-fix ways, and others take a little longer, but they help your foundation heal towards thinking positively by default.

    One quick, physical way to shed a negative spiral is to take a shower. Energy tends to stick around and stagnate; if you’re able to recognize that you’re stuck in a toilet bowl, flush it. In the shower, you strip your dirty layers and can find relaxation in the process; then, you come out as the embodiment of a fresh start. (Full disclosure that as a new mom, relaxing showers have become a gift that I no longer take for granted, so here’s a reminder to always consider the source 😉 ).

    Another way to flip those negative thoughts around: get fresh air. Go for a walk, in some greenery if you can. I feel my energy change after a hike in the woods. Being among trees and other plant life cleanses the electromagnetic energy from your aura, therefore helping the stickiness of those negative thoughts wear off. When I get grouchy, I can tell it’s time for a walk around my neighborhood, especially when I don’t feel like going. 100% of the time, I return in a better mood.

    While you’re on the walk, try speaking aloud a few things you’re grateful for. One very effective way to disperse that negativity is to redirect your focus onto gratitude. The deeper you are into the negativity, the more difficult this sounds; that’s just a signal that you need it more than ever. There’s no right or wrong answer for what you can name in your gratitude list. Just name the five or ten things and pay attention to how you feel afterwards. Eventually it’ll become habitual, and your life will feel lighter and appear brighter.

    If you’re already speaking about what you’re grateful for, you might as well try speaking to someone else about why you’re feeling down. Exorcise those negative feelings and thoughts in a constructive way–through a counselor or other neutral third party, not a friend or family member. This could be a therapist, someone in your church, or a guidance counselor at school; there are people trained in how to help you build a toolkit for how to deal with these things. My therapist has been crucial in my growth journey, and my friends and family are very thankful for her ;-P.

    Is exorcising the negativity with a therapist out of the picture for you? Exercise your body. We’ve touched on going for a hike, but maybe a punching bag would better suit your energetic needs. Weight training, body-weight movements, going for a run in your neighborhood, doing squats in front of your TV–when your body is able to use that energy, the negativity in your head loses its power source. In fact, that negativity running amok up there is the perfect fuel to maximize your movements. One day I was in my garage, punching the hell out of my punching bag, and during a break I started dancing. I…don’t dance. Except then, I was compelled to. I haven’t felt that good in such a long time, I’m now planning future dancing sessions.

    Let’s say nearly all of the above is out of reach. I can guarantee that you’re able to change up the music you listen to. There’s a whole genre dedicated to positive affirmations, and most of it is really fun to listen to. There are some songs that are so catchy, I find them stuck in my head for days, and that’s a magical thing. For example, I came across Cole Adams one day when doom scrolling, and the aftermath was me singing (or stimming?), “All the cells in my body are healthy; all the bones in my body are healthy; all my muscle tissue is healthy, and I am grateful.” Doom scrolling doesn’t normally end with me feeling great, but for that experience, I really am grateful. The words that are on repeat in your head matter, and they do affect your cells, your thoughts, and your sense of well-being. If it’s hard to come up with positive thoughts on your own, get one of the catchy songs stuck in your head to do it for you.

    My last two cents go to the idea that, if negativity has you in such a choke hold that nothing up there sounds feasible, then, to be blunt, you’re in need of a total lifestyle change. I kept this for last because it’s probably the hardest thing to do. However, it could be the most necessary. If your day-to-day is draining the life out of you, and you can no longer dig deep to find the light on the other side of it, then that goes beyond just having negative thoughts. I have such compassion for people in this position because I was there–I’ve felt cornered and questioned, “what’s the point of all this” if I had to keep living that way for the rest of my life? I’m here to confirm that there is such beauty and discovery to be made from life, there’s just a toxic leech poisoning you and your outlook. That leech, whatever form it has taken for you, can and should be removed from you. Life is not the problem; what you choose to accept in your life can become problematic, and it’s up to you to rid yourself of it. Is that hard and scary? Yes, but it’s worth it. This is your life we’re talking about! I can’t tell you how to do this for yourself, but I can recommend meditating on it and asking your higher self for clarity on the best path for you. Just know that there is a path out from the corner you feel stuck in, and it’ll lead you back to light and love.

    I say all of this from my own experience because I’ve been in a serious negative tailspin before. I’m certainly not immune to negativity. It’s hard but meaningful work to actively change your mindset, and while I’ve done a lot of that work, there’s still so much more to do. Building new neural pathways by recognizing when the negative takes hold, stopping it in its tracks, and then changing its direction, is like putting your brain through boot camp. And, like boot camp (I imagine), you get more skilled at it each day. It may not feel like it’s getting easier at first, but one morning you’ll wake up and realize you’re looking forward to the day again. You’ll understand that you are not your negative thoughts; that the season you just weathered has passed, and when it comes around again, you’re better equipped to handle the storm.

    “I am not my thoughts, I am the one who notices them.” – Cole Adams

  • Word of the Day

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    Daily writing prompt
    What’s the best advice you’d give to someone younger than you?
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    Man, I wish this prompt was more specific. I was just thinking earlier today, “I would do well (and have fun) writing an advice column!”

    (Does anyone need advice on an oddly specific circumstance? Send me a message!)

    In the meantime, let’s see what advice I can cook up for this vast population landscape…

    My Advice for Someone Younger than Me: It’s pretty cliche, but it boils down to “don’t take yourself too seriously.”

    While I stand by that, part of me wants to point out that I’m very excited by where I am currently in my life, and I wouldn’t be here now if I didn’t take myself entirely too seriously in my younger years. I’m just now learning, at 35, how to be more fluidly goofy. I hope that by the time my daughter turns 2, I know how to be a silly goose–but I’ve always been old for my age, and it’s hard for me to comprehend not being serious.

    There’s a lot to unpack for someone who takes life too seriously. It’s not like it’s wrong, or bad, or you’re off to a bad start if you’re intense, focused, results-driven, or–dare I say–deeply anxious. For me, it was (and is) a fear-driven response to me needing control, mainly over my future. If I got good grades, pitched perfect innings, nailed my job interviews, got timely promotions, and was liked well enough through all those stages, I would have checked off all the boxes to achieve The Happy Life that I Should Have By Now, right?

    Wrong! Now, I wasn’t living a bad life, but I was wedged so far under my own thumb that I couldn’t breathe. If I made one mistake, I would have a meltdown (of which there were many!). Over time, I had somehow created this sense of self-worth that only maintained my own uncompromising standards as long as I never screwed anything up. Which, spoiler alert, is impossible to do! Imagine being in your 20s–no, any age!–and not screwing anything up. It’s literally laughable now that I’m so far removed from that era of my life–which makes it a pretty sad reality for me when I look back. I did not have to be so hard on myself, and I’m actively working on healing that part of me to this day.

    If you’re someone younger than me who is taking life seriously, I salute you for your grit and determination. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re doing what makes you feel safe. Might I suggest that you take some dedicated time to dance, alone in your garage, where nobody can see how silly you might look? Or go to an open mic night at a comedy club and tell a story? Maybe instead you’d enjoy parking your car and walking, with too-heavy comforters and a backpack full of snacks, down to a secluded beach with your friend for a sandy outdoor sleepover? (That may have only worked because it was in 2009 and before the Age of Surveillance…).

    All this to say, my advice is to keep up with your responsibilities, but add this to your list: “Do something silly, and love myself through it.” If you must work, work on feeling whole, even when you are perceived to come up short. If you must achieve, be the best at forgiving yourself for your missteps. If you must focus, zero in on how great you’re doing at any given point. And if you must be perfect, know with 100% certainty that you already are–not despite, but because of your imperfections.

  • Word of the Day

    Photo by Christopher Browne on Pexels.com
    Daily writing prompt
    What’s the best way to build self-confidence?
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    One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is that building self-confidence comes down to trusting yourself. By doing the things you tell yourself you’re going to do, your body, at a cellular level, will gain a deep sense of “knowing” that there’s always someone there who’s going to support, defend, or protect you–and that someone is you.

    Projecting confidence has nothing to do with the people around you, or how much those people like you, or anything other than what’s going on within yourself. Did you tell yourself you would vacuum the house today? Did you follow through with that plan, or did you put it off until “tomorrow”? How about those dishes you said you’d have done by now, did you do them? I’ll even throw this out there, and get over yourself if you think it’s gross: When is the last time you used the bathroom? Was it right away, when your body told you that you had to pee? Or did you make your body wait 35 minutes? Small actions where your body cooperates with your mind, when they’re in agreement–that’s where the construction starts.

    Some may attribute having confidence to a physical trait, like being muscular or toned. Does having a fit physique help with confidence? It may, but only because you told yourself you’d go to the gym and then followed through with it. The byproduct of being healthy and looking good bolster the sense of confidence, but that’s only half of it. How many people have you met who are stunning, or ripped, or model-esque, but reek of insecurity? I can count a handful myself. It starts and ends with the relationship between your thoughts and actions–the mind-body connection is key.

    I’ll say it again: Confidence has nothing to do with, and there is no strength derived from, other people liking you or thinking good things about you. Confidence has everything to do with how much you like yourself, the degree to which you can rely on yourself, and there is unwavering strength built when you know you have your own back.

  • Word of the Day

    Daily writing prompt
    Go on a walk today and share a photo of something that catches your eye.
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    Whenever I go on walks, I go over my list of what I’m grateful for. Everyday I mention how beautiful the colors are around me–the rich blue of the sky, the deep green of the grass, and occasionally I’ll cross paths with a striking pink flower or two (dozen).